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Now did ya hear what she said. She said I
can't spell! Me bein a gaduate of Texas A&M. and she just barely gaduated
high school. AW Shut Up Billy Bubba! Now look what ya did. Ya done
made her mad. Said ya insulted her. Say ya sorry and just shut up.
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1. If you think you're fat,
you probably are. Don't ask us. |
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2. Learn to work the toilet seat: If
it's up, put it down. |
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3. Don't cut your hair....EVER!
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4. Birthdays, Valentines, and
Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect
present, AGAIN! |
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5. If you ask a question you don't
want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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6. Sometimes, he's not thinking
about you.
Live with it. |
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7. Don't ask him what he's thinking
about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Navel lint,
the Shotgun Formation and Monster Trucks. |
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8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's
not different, it's just like every other cat. |
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9. Dogs are better than ANY cat.
Period. |
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10. Sunday = Sports |
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11. Shopping is not a sport.
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12. Anything you wear is fine.
Really. |
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13. You have enough clothes.
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14. You have too many shoes.
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15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if
you must, but don't expect us to like it. |
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16. Ask for what you want. Subtle
hints don't work. |
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17. No, he doesn't know what day it
is. He never will. You need to mark Anniversaries on the calendar.
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18. Yes, peeing standing up is more
difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss
sometimes. |
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19. Most guys own two or three pairs
of shoes. What makes you think we're any good at choosing which pair,
out of thirty, would look good with your dress. |
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20. Yes and No are perfectly
acceptable answers.
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That's Them Ladies! Purty Simple Ain't They! Send me an
email if you have anything to add! |
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What's that lady I made ya mad?? Why I never.
Billy Bubba what did I say? What's that?? Yea! Yea! Maybe
she'll feel better if she orders herself some flowers! They'll deliver'em
right to her at home or work!
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21. A headache that lasts for 17
months is a problem. See a doctor. |
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22. Your Mom doesn't have to be your
best friend. |
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23. Foreign films are best left to
foreigners. |
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24. Check your oil. |
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25. Don't give us 50 rules when 25
will do. |
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26. Don't fake it. We would rather
be ineffective than deceived. |
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27. It is neither in your best
interest or ours to take the Cosmo quiz together. |
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28. Anything we said 6 or 8 mos. ago
is inadmissable in an argument. |
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29. If you don't dress like the
Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the Soap Opera
guys. |
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30. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry, we meant
the other one. |
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31. Let us look. If we don't look at
other women, how can we know how pretty you are. |
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32. Don't rub the lamp if you don't
want the genie to come out. |
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33. You can either ask us to do
something OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. Not both. |
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34. Whenever possible, please say
whatever you have to say during commercials. |
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35. Christopher Columbus didn't need
directions, and neither do we. |
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36. Women wearing Wonder Bras and
low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs
stared at. |
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37. Consider golf a mini-vacation
from you. We need it, just like you do. |
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38. Telling us that the models in
"Playboy" are air brushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazine.
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39. The relationship is never going
to be like it was the first two months...we were going out then.
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